8/2/11 Ok Lord, I don't like writing these sometimes, because these are about me. Too often about me. Especially this one.

Randy, a relatively new brother, maybe twenty-one has struggled much since his surrender to You. You know Lord, anger leading to fights, the next girl because the last one didn't work out to well, hope of a job promise that someone didn't keep. On top of that, Randy just got out jail, after three months, nothing major, just the same old pattern.

Randy jumped in front of me while in full stride. I almost stumbled over him. "Pastor, I need to get to work. Now." First, I don't like being called pastor. Apostolic types and evangelists usually don't make good shepherds anyway. And second, I already had "fourteen" other things going on. All I could say in passing was, "I understand you need a ride to work." I know, it sounded a bit smart, though not intentional. But, I moved on to the next fire to put out or the next person with promise. Hmmm, boy, that was a confession I hadn't planned—the next person with promise. Like I would know who that is, Lord.

So I did my thing, helping to restore two ladies back to you, working with Paul on getting some drug dealers off the property, You know Lord, important stuff. Then, Randy came to me again almost as abrupt as before as I was working on number three of the "fourteen" things I (emphasis mine) needed to get done.

I stopped, stared at him, eye to eye, for just a moment, and You, as You have on a number of occasions, let me see Your image in Randy, though still so covered with life layers of pain, bad decisions, guilt, and anger.

So, I took him to his new job. All he needed was a ride. During the drive, Randy poured out his heart about his walk with You, how you blessed him to get back into the Word and prayer with the good guys while he was in jail. I talked with him about spending the money he would earn wisely. He got out of the car and with a big smile, "Bless you pastor."

Jerry, who also just got of jail serving three months, walked by and spoke. It was right after lunch. I needed to meet with several people, and actually was talking with someone as Jerry passed by. He spoke again, and even a third time. I heard him on the third but he was already by me before I could speak back.

I got my office when Jerry brushed by and said, "So bro. Anthony, you ain't speaking to nobody no more?" Before I saw who it was, I joked, "Takes two to speak!" He wasn't joking, "I did speak, but you didn't." I smiled, "Come in my office Jerry, glad to see you."

"Man things done changed around here. I got here right as the window was closing and ya'll wouldn't give me no plate. Ya'll ain't the same no more." He went on like that for a bit, and I thought about reminding of our schedule and the rules, how he was late and that he surely knew what time we served lunch, and that he was wrong about the people who work at RCM ... but, I didn't. I just listened.

All he wanted was something to eat. He got pretty angry, and in fact, I did say during his monologue, "You're pretty angry, aren't you?" He agreed using a particularly colorful metaphor. And then it came. "Could I get some snacks or something? I'm hungry." I said, "Sure, I'll get them right now. How 'bout that?"

Lord, it was just a ten minute ride to work. It was just a plate of food, or just a few snacks. That is, on the surface. But under the surface? Eternal moments. Moments, actions, words, care, love that can change eternity for guys like Randy and Jerry.

Lord, You've taught me much about how to look deeply into the eyes of the poor and homeless, to see a window back into my own soul, and to know that we are all connected by Your Spirit. A window into the humanity of us all, connected through the humanity of Jesus by Your Spirit.

You've taught me much about our people, and through the years You've restored my faith in humanity, especially in those whom society tramples and throws away. You've done this by showing me humanity's common Source. You.

But, here's what I need Lord. I know that it's not a one way relationship. Oh yeah, often I hold in my hands the resources, the keys to the building, the responsibility for being a good steward with Your stuff You provide, the decision for many things rests with me.

I can give a snack bag or not to a homeless person based on my mood that day. I can show up for work late but cut no slack for that person who shows up a bit late for an appointment with me. I can say what food will served at RCM lunch or not but can go to lunch most anywhere I want, most anytime. I can go anywhere, most anytime and it's just a short ride in one of my cars when it's an all day trip for the poor and homeless to get to a job interview or housing appointment, that is, if the bus runs on time. Too often I get put in the position, or have the authority, depending upon how one would describe it, of deciding who is deserving and who is not.

Too often it can become a "me and them" client type relationship which really is no relationship at all. Me to them, up to down, high to the low, giver to receiver, that is, what I choose to I give them. Too often it's a one way transaction. Not much humanity in that.

And, the poor and homeless know that. About me.

Sorry that took so long to say, Lord. Confessions are sometimes hard to get out. But, again, here's what I need from You.

Lord, as much as You have restored my faith in humanity among the lowliest of the low, please teach me now Lord, how to be like Jesus, so that the poor and homeless will have their faith restored in humanity, because of a genuine love and care You produce in me. And with the prospect of that happening, that is, You teaching me, and me growing? I am hopeful.

The rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all. Proverbs 22:2, NIV